9.5.03
today's exams were total shit. so much for the amount of effort put in. *sigh* monday's lit. oh man oh man...i realli fear it so much. just now on the way home i imagined that the unseen was realli difficult and the entire paper ended up in shit and i cried after the paper. erbx..i just hope its all thks to my imagination and its not actually a premonition of monday's exam. oh boy...if that ever happens, im going to be so dead. :(
"This is a great combination. You're both charming, attractive, and appreciative of each other's qualities. Together you make a beautiful couple." things will never be the same again, wads given is given and wads lost is lost. this is something that nobody else can ever replace, memories that will be etched in my heart forever. everything's so unpredictable. i cant bear to lose it.
den* stepped on your garbage at
8.5.03
just revised bio...finally 95% done...from 80%....took like forty five mins just to read the blardee flower chap...cos i realised that i got quite a lot of concepts mixed up...but i've finally clarified all my doubts. great. effective management...haha. am so tired now...and its so darn hot...i hope its because i just came out of an airconditioned room and not because im developing a fever....oh pls man...not at this crucial point in time and not when sudden onsets of fever are symptoms of sars.
went to eat icecream with yash today...and i realised that just because of that we took an extra hour to get home...hahaha...but nvm la...it was quite fun....just like the idea of going home slowly..real slowly. no hassle and no rush. oh..and because i told my maid that i was eating lunch at home and was expected to be back early, she came up with this dumb reason for why i came back so late -- "went to look for your boyfriend is it?" all i could do was roll my eyes..its like, where the hell does a boyfriend come from?!?! ridiculous...and i had totally nothing to say abt it. wonder why she always thinks i have a boyfriend...the irony of it all. =|
i think i've once again made the mistake of being the selfish me. i did not take other ppl's feelings into consideration and simply jumped into wadever i felt like doing. i simply went ahead based on my instincts and gut. feeling guilt-stricken now. my sincere apologies to the friend i may have hurt as a result of my impetuous and reckless nature. perhaps right from the beginning, it was a damnit mistake. if only i could turn back the clock...
den* stepped on your garbage at
7.5.03
i revised my r&j already..hehe..or rather just memorised the quotes. :D first time im prepared for quotes before the exam. the reason? i dare not receive b3 or b4 grades for lit exams anymore. no way is history going to repeat itself so many times. its pretty strange realli, for tests the results arent that bad but for exams, i cant seem to score. oh well, i think its becos i place more importance on studying for other subjects such as the sciences rather than lit....bleahx....aniwae while i was reading r&j halfway i fell asleep...hahahah...quite sad...the book isnt that interesting i guess...and slept for one hour...and woke up just in time for my show. yippee...now im all energetic and awake. i shant say too soon though... ;)
young men's love then lies not truly in their hearts but in their eyes. [shux, did i get that correct? cant believe i cant remember wad i memorised already] i suppose everything was on a moment of impulse, but honestly, the feeling is fading...for the old that is. *shrugs* i guess time will determine everything...whether it is fickle fate or genuine feelings. im in a turmoil now, and......i realli dunno wad to think. one's deserving and the other's not. its a pretty simple decision for an outsider to make. obviously the person who deserves it should get it. but when u're in the playfield, all the emotions simply overlap one another, and its hard to differentiate which is true and which is merely fleeting. it is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden, too like the lightning. ive got two weeks to rule out everything, because i dont want this to drag on and because in two weeks' time..it's the day. he that hath the steerage of my course, direct my sail. thou shalt let fate decide.
den* stepped on your garbage at
6.5.03
today was a total slackish day...but i enjoyed it. hahah. hmmz..half the class ponned and so did half of c2...quite funky. sch should be like this everyday...it'd just be like a holiday camp...yippee! :) shiok...now that im home, im slacking again...yay....i'll do my phy paper later...ive been procrastinating for as long as i can already...from my past observations made over the years, i have a great tendency to slack just a week before the exams. somehow..and on the days of the exams themselves. when i come home, i totally slack...and just get hooked onto the comp. its becoming a trend. cool. maybe that's part of my strategy for exams...haha...anibody taking down notes for tips on exam strategies? erbx.....
im proud to announce that for the first time in days, my mood is considerably stable and void of any mood swings. *cheers* maybe a couldnt-care-less attitude does help. and maybe flower does help in diverting my energy and attention from other issues. cos just like meiosis, the focus is split into two...instead of mitosis where the focus will then be split into two identical ones....or is it the other way round? hahaha..nvm....just hack me to death....bio totally rox my ass. *pls note that in both meiosis and mitosis, cells are involved, and not focuses. [wth] hurhur. [i am seriously crapping and shd go take a break]~
den* stepped on your garbage at
5.5.03
woohoo..just did my newsweek thingy..haha..finally man. the most dreadful is over. :D
nth exceptionally exciting took place today..just that i scraped through all my tests by one or two marks....wonder how i'll fare for the exams at this rate...hurhur. sad case. sometimes i seriously feel like dropping all the subs. ha.
i realli pity the flower. think she's damn poor thing - i mean, so many things are not her fault but ppl are talking crap and hurling insults. its just unfair to her. i think the reason why she's making a comeback in my life is becos of this - it seems like she's experiencing such internal turmoil and she doesnt have the strength to cope with the situation all by herself. she just needs somebody to guide her and be with her. in other words, she's vulnerable and lacks love, care and concern. maybe she'd do better with someone loving her and all that. she'd be a happier person. it seems like she's falling apart and she's so helpless and.....she just needs encouragement and support. guess wad im feeling is all out of sympathy and a desire to lend a helping hand [in a different way]. urgh...yash, think u'll be the onli one who'll understand this whole chunk of words...i noe i shdnt divert my attention cos u dislike it. i doubt i will but everytime i hear anything abt her it just kinda creates this urge to help her. it pains me a little. just a little. that's all...there's another reason for all this, but i'll tell you personally. its far too private i guess.
den* stepped on your garbage at
4.5.03
happy birthday to my dearest darling!!
in a damn sian mood now...haix. didnt do anything for the whole dae...great man...im so going to be dead for exams. *shakes head* went imm today...and i think i saw doro...doro, did u go imm?? im not sure if i saw correctly la...nvm...and got so freaking pissed cos of my mum..haha..but nvm..its over...was having dizzy spells in this blardee shop cos the place was so crowded and i kept turning my head to look at everything ard...so ya, i think i somehow got giddy just like that. and mum is forcing me to drink brand's essence so that i wont be so weak..wade..i realli cannot stand brand's essence. it just sucks.
i feel like boxing somebody's face but i noe i'll never be able to do it. shit.
den* stepped on your garbage at